Getting to Know Your College Roommate

Around this time last year I received a letter in the mail from the admissions office at my college.

Little did I know the magnitude of what it would contain.

Inside this letter were written two important things: where I would be living my first year of college and WHO I would be living with.

At the time did I have any idea who this girl was? No. Did I know if she was crazy? No. Did I know that she'd very quickly become a dear friend of mine?

College is something that excited me from the start.

New beginnings, new people, new classes. The visits, the professors, the experience. Needless to say, I was pumped. But as with any first time student, I was also a little nervous. I had no idea what to expect from classes, I had no idea who I'd meet, and I had no idea who my roommate would be.


If you think about it, a roommate is a big deal! You're sharing a compact living space─a place holding all of your belongings, clothes, and personal possessions. This is the place you sleep in, study in, and bring friends to. This is the place where you'll call your mom, open packages from home, and come to when you just need to get away from it all.

I was nervous, yes. But after getting to know my roommate Alli, I realized I had nothing to worry about. We're both easy going, we love to laugh, and we like a lot of the same things.

For those of you just now getting to know your college roommate, I've got a few tips.

1. Initiate.

You'll never get around to talking if you both wait around for the other to initiate conversation. Maybe you're nervous─that's okay! They probably are too. Whether you send them a text, a Facebook message, or make a bold move and call them, know that you've got to start somewhere. The first contact I made with Alli was in a Facebook message. I wrote, "So I guess we're roommates :)". Simple enough. It started the conversation.

2. Share a little about yourself.

Start with the basics─family, sports you played in high school, your major...etc., but don't let it stop there. What do you like to do for fun? Where have you traveled before? What kind of music do you like to listen to? What are you absolutely afraid of?

[Alli and I discovered that we both love Disney─but really who doesn't─that we're both the oldest child, and that neither of us are very flexible. Random, yes, but it was cool to know we had a few things in common.]

3. Ask questions.

Questions lead to answers. Your roommate might not just come out and tell you about themselves. As stated in #1, initiate.

4. Talk logistics.

Who's bringing the mini fridge? How late do you like to stay up? What time do you usually wake up? Is music okay when studying? Are boyfriends allowed in the room? Can friends come over to study? Can we share clothes? All the little nitpicky stuff like that.

[Alli and I didn't talk about boyfriends in the room because at the time neither of us had boyfriends. Then day 2 of orientation rolled around and oops Jamie managed to meet her dream boy. Alli and I were still getting first impressions of each other so I really tried my best to convince her that I'm honestly not boy crazy.]

5. Understand that you might not be best friends.

You might not even be friends, and that's okay. You might come to find that the two of you cohabitate just fine and that's good with you. What's important is that you respect one another and each other's stuff. You're sharing a space and what's important is that you share it peacefully. While late night talks and shared bonding experiences with your roommate are things to look forward to, know that not every story is the same. That won't be the case with everyone and THAT'S OKAY.

6. Don't make judgements.

Social media can be...oh how shall we put it─false. Until you've met your roommate face to face, you can't be sure of too much. While online communication and texting is an awesome way to connect with your roommate before college, you won't know the ins and outs of your roommate until you meet them and talk with them in person.

[I, for one, had no idea how to pronounce Alli's last name. Or what her voice sounded like. I formed an idea of who she was in my head before we met based on our Facebook conversations. After we met I finally had a better picture and many of the pieces were put together. The fun part was learning all of her quirks as the year went on.]

7. Don't overwhelm your roommate.

Your roommate might not want to communicate as much as you will. You might only chat with them once before school starts only to later realize how much you have in common. Relationships take time. You've got the whole year ahead of you to foster your relationship. Don't be pushy when it comes to communicating before school. They may be busy or they might just not like texting. As listed above, don't make judgements as to why they might not be responding as fast or as frequent as you'd like.

8. Get excited!

College is an exciting time! It can be fun getting to know your roommate. Enjoy the experience and the excitement that comes with it. Talking in the weeks leading up to school definitely upped the excitement for both Alli and I. Hopefully you'll find that same excitement.





[Interested in reading more? Check out the Blog Archive to the right to find links to my other posts.]

If you liked this post, you might like...
What It's Like To Have The Worst Roommate Ever
College: Week 1
The Pros & Cons of Living in a Dorm Room
What It's Like To Go To College In Your Hometown



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