A Letter To The Girl Who Feels Lonely

To the girl who feels lonely,

I'm sorry. I know it sucks.

I know you're upset, and you're worried, and it's all too easy to see an endless tunnel without any hope. I know some days are better than others, and that some days are simply just that─days. One day after the other and nothing seems to change.

Whether you're lonely for friends, or a boyfriend, or if you're lonely for the outstretched hand of God─loneliness is loneliness is loneliness. The core issue is isolation, a feeling of distance, a longing for someone or something else.


I can't say it will get better, because honestly─your opinion of better may be different than mine. Better does not mean you'll have a boyfriend by March. Or that God will reveal "Mr. Right" by next fall. Better does not mean that the girls in your class will suddenly invite you to their next get-together or that you'll get asked to prom. Better is all in perspective.

What I can tell you is that there's this little thing I've discovered, this little something or other that I'd like to share with you. It's called hope.

"But this I call to mind, and therefore I have hope. The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; great is your faithfulness. 'The Lord is my portion,' says my soul, 'therefore I will hope in him.'"

Lamentations 3:21-24 (ESV)

Hope is defined as a feeling of expectation and desire for a certain thing to happen.

I'll give it to you right now─it's great to desire (in the right context), and to wait in anticipation, but if it comes to the point where that longing and expectation become too high of an expectation, you might just find yourself with a problem. When this hopeful anticipation becomes your all in all, every consuming thought, sole obsession─when it drags you to your knees in frustration and hurt─that's when it's no longer healthy.

My precious friend, you are worth so much more than the little voice telling you that you need this or that or this certain person to fulfill your worth.

Instead of focusing on what you don't have, focus on what you do have.

For one, you have Jesus. We have a Savior who died on the cross to save us from our sins because He loves us. We have been provided potential for a thriving relationship with God─and in any circumstance I can honestly say that there is indeed hope for a fruitful relationship with the Lord.

Secondly, you have people who care for you. Look around. Relationships may be strained, and in some friendships you may feel isolated, but please─look around. Who raised you? Did they hug you when you cried and care for you when you were sick out of obligation? I'm gonna have to guess that's a no. What about your teammates, or your classmates, or the kind woman in the cafeteria who greets you every single day?

Some people are mean, you say. Not everyone cares. Well─you're right. Not everyone is going to love you. Not everyone is going to say hi to you. Some people will downright see to it that in some way or another you feel bad about yourself. [To every middle school & high school girl─I know how you feel.] Why? Why do we do this to each other? Because this world we live in is broken. We are fallen individuals and sometimes we can be downright disgusting individuals without a care in the world for those around us.

Life can be challenging and relationships can be challenging, but I'm telling you─there is hope for the future. There is hope for all that God has in store. And I know it's really easy for me to say this, and it's really easy to let it go in one ear and out the other, but I don't just throw these kind of promises around. I can guarantee you that with Christ in your heart, there is indeed great hope for the future.

What you desire right now may never come. It may take years, it may take months. Maybe the Lord has other plans. Maybe he just has a different timeline than you.

Be patient, my friend. The plans of the Lord are unfathomable. And I should think so. From an unfathomable God I would expect unfathomable and incomprehensible plans.

Wherever you find your loneliness, know that there is only one who ultimately fills your loneliness, and you already know what I'm going to say next. Come on, you know the Sunday school answer─it's Jesus. And in this love known as Jesus, we find hope.

So I'm sorry. I know it sucks.

But please, don't let the loneliness ruin the plans God has in store for you right now, today and tomorrow. Don't let your expectations run the day. There is far more greater in store. There is far more to hope for─far more which we can't even fathom. Far more that we can't comprehend.



[Interested in reading more? Check out the Blog Archive to the right to find links to my other posts.]


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