18 Things I've Learned From My Mother In My 18 Years Of Life

As I sat in my mother's office today, for the fifth day in a row, I realized that I've got a lot to be thankful for.

Yes, I went off to college. No, I don't sleep at home. Yes, I still get to see my mom every day. How does that work out, huh?

People always joke with me (at least I hope they've been joking) and ask if my mom tries to teach me math all day. First of all─no. I wouldn't be able to sit still that long. Second of all, there's a whole lot more to this life than math. (No offense Mom.) She's explained math processes to me, yes─but that's because I came to her for help. She's been patient through my tears and she's shared her expertise─but I'm telling you, she's taught me a whole lot more than just math.

I've been on this earth for 18 years. And from the moment I burst from her body (I don't want to get too descriptive for my highly sensitive readers─you're welcome) she has been teaching me a whole lot of things.

1. Let the little things go.

Amen and hallelujah Momma J. Amen and hallelujah. There will come a time in many situations in which a choice will need to be made─is this something you can let go, or is this something that will come back to continually bother you down the road? If it can be let go, let it go. It's not worth arguing about. If it's something that will create problems later on, then address it now in the early stages. And in letting the little things go, learn to forgive.

2. Don't make assumptions.

This means assumptions about people and about things. Don't assume other people know what you're thinking, because they probably don't. Don't assume that you'll do well on a test. Don't assume that you'll wake up without setting an alarm. Don't assume anything. (Sadly it has taken many years to learn this one, and sadly I am still learning this one.)

3. Laugh a little.

Or a lot. Okay, laugh every day.

4. Jesus is always watching over you.

When I was little, my mother always reminded me before bed that Jesus was watching over me. It took me a little while to fully comprehend this one. When we'd head out the front door on the way to Daycare, I always made sure to wave up the stairs and yell "Bye Jesus!". Little did I know at the time that he is always with me, not just when I'm sleeping. Rest assured, this confusion has been cleared up with time.

5. Don't be mean to your brother.

Or anyone, for that matter. Why is it that we treat those we love the worst?

6. Yelling doesn't solve anything.

Okay people, confession time─I was a yeller. Oh boy was I a yeller. It's not that I didn't trust my parents when they told me this, but I've seen the home videos. They weren't lying. And did the yelling ever help? That would be a no.

7. It doesn't matter what others think.

Mom always said it doesn't matter if you look good, it matters if you feel good. Comfort is key. Why dress to impress when you can dress and actually move comfortably about your day? Well, you know what I say to that─it is possible to be comfortable AND look good. But I get where she's coming from. Why wear skinny jeans if the only thing you can think about is taking them off?

May I just say right away that I am so grateful to the fact that she never gave in to my interest in makeup. She didn't stop me from buying it─she made me pay for it on my own. And I hate spending money. Therefore, the addiction never had a chance to take hold. So now, on the days when I don't wear makeup (which is everyday), no one asks me if I'm sick, or if I'm feeling okay. There is no expectation to look a certain way, and I never have to worry about smeared mascara. Talk about a win-win situation!

8. Be rational. Think logically.

Alright, there you go. That's the math professor coming out right there. But honestly, in this world today it's surprising how many people are willing to make rash decisions before honestly evaluating the situation. Be smart, think logically. The Lord provided us with brains for a reason.

9. You don't owe anyone anything.

People deserve to be treated like human beings. They deserve respect and treatment reflecting the love of Jesus, but outside of that you don't owe anyone anything. Pay where payment is due, but don't feel pressure to give up anything to anyone.

10. Find what you're passionate about, and pursue it.

I have never met someone as passionate about the mathematical arts as my mother. But at least she's found and knows what she's passionate about. Some people go their entire lives without finding something that gives them that much joy. For me that's writing and speaking. For Mom that's math─and for her, that's awesome.

11. Stand up for what you believe in.

Mom believes in equality. And throughout my life she has made that known. Never once did I question the authority of men over women in the church. From the start I've seen her up front leading. Many times she has served as deacon, and many times Dad has served as deacon. We are all called to serve in God's kingdom. Mom didn't just make that belief known through her words, she made that known through her actions.

12. Don't let the opinions of others dictate your decisions.

In life some will be encouragers and others will try to push you down, whether quite obviously or not. Don't let the opinions of others hold you back from pursuing your dreams.

13. Enjoy your youth while you have it.

Name one part of the body, any part of the body, and there's a good chance it has caused my mother pain. The knee, the elbow, the wrist, the back, the...everything. Back in the day, Mom did all kinds of hiking and backpacking and skiing. She took in her youth while she had it. A reminder to us all that our bodies won't be this way forever.

14. Don't do stupid things to make others mad.

My mom's not crazy. (Sometimes.) She knew there would be times I'd be mad at her, she knows there will still be times that I'm mad at her. So she made sure to remind me that there were far better ways to "get back at her" than to do something stupid that would hurt myself. In her words─getting a tattoo would make me mad, but remember that in the end you're the one stuck with the tattoo. You could choose to smoke, and that would make me very mad, but in the end it affects your body. You'll be the one at risk for lung cancer. I guess the takeaway here is that I'm responsible for my own decisions.

15. The world doesn't revolve around you.

That one took a few years to figure out.

16. Sarcasm is (almost) always the answer.

Unless you find yourself in a situation in which it would be inappropriate to laugh, in which case keep your mouth closed.

17. Not everyone is going to agree with you. 

And you are not going to agree with everyone. It's okay to disagree, but make sure to disagree in a respectful, rational, and logical way. As mentioned earlier, there is a difference between yelling and solving a conflict with class.

18. You are loved.

Indeed, you are loved. If that isn't the end all takeaway, then I don't know what is. Mom has always told me that love is a choice. Choosing to love is a daily commitment. When you commit yourself in marriage, you are choosing to love that individual in the good times and the bad. When you have children, there will be moments that make it quite difficult to give them love in return. Love is an action, and a feeling, and a whole lot of other things. Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud...

Thanks for being so patient with me Mom. After all these years, it's quite evident that you chose love.

[Interested in reading more? Check out the Blog Archive to the right to find links to my other posts.]


If you liked this post, you might like...
Don't Tell Me You're Not Beautiful
An Open Letter To Eight Year Old Me
Yes Mom, I'm Making Friends
What It's Like To Go To College In Your Hometown


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